Do you find it hard to say "NO"?

We like to feel liked, needed, special, helpful etc and that's one of the reasons, I'm sure that so many of us women (and some men too) tend to always say "yes" and then regret it afterwards.

It's not that we don't want to help, it's just that when we say "yes" to someone else, we say no to ourselves. When we say "yes" to helping someone else get things done thereby making a dent in their "to do" list, it doesn't help us make a dent in hours.

This week, I'm getting things done and I've got a laser focus. I haven't got time to help others as getting my stuff done will finally take them off lists they've been on for years and just think how great that will make me feel.

So I'm going to be practicing these strategies and hopefully they might work for you too.

So how about:

"I can't help this time - who else can you ask?" or a slight deviation on this one"I can't help this time but XXX is really good at this" Be careful though, you may just plonk someone one else in it.
"I'm not sure, Let me see and I'll call you back later!" and a similar one "Now's not a good time, can I call you back later?"
"I'm sorry but I really can't help and I do mean it"
"I'm going to have to say 'no', it's just not convenient for me"

Some buy you time so you can think it all through instead of reacting. Others just come out and say "no". And remember, you don't have to justify, just say what you have to say and 'shut up'

Search for more than lumps, ladies.

It's Breast Cancer Awareness month and as someone who has known only too many wonderful women who have had this disease, it's one I'm passionate about.

Today , through the Be Fabulous Newsletter I discovered 'Bollocks to Breast Cancer' on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=135963158920 set up by Sarah Stewart who is currently undergoing treatment for Breast Cancer. I was so impressed and want to get involved and the first step is to pass on this info from Sara herself -

"Everyone thinks that finding a lump in your breast is the first sign of cancer. When I found a red mark that looked like a love bite but that remained on my breast for several weeks, I found out about inflammatory breast cancer. It starts with a red mark, is aggressive and does not often involve a lump.My GP said it was nothing to worry about. But I didn't want to take a risk.So I booked myself into a fast-track breast clinic last Friday and discovered that I had the early stages of a tumour. Bizarrely, the red mark doesn't seem to have been related to the cancer so something or someone out there was looking out for me.There is no history of breast cancer in my family either.I think of myself as being lucky to have found this so early. But please ladies, don't just look for lumps but also for changes in your breast skin texture, inverted nipples and anything that doesn't look quite right. Don't ignore anything."

Take heed of Sara's advice, we can never know too much about all of this.

It was through doing the Aviva Breakthrough to Breast Cancer Walk in 2006 that the East End Girls were born and we are still out there walking and raising money when possible.

Walk to work - check it out.

Simon Madrell at Excellent development has just drawn my attention to Walk to Work for the
Microloan Foundation.

On Friday 16th October, many people across the world will be walking to work and the money they raise will help women in Africa set up their own businesses. We need entrepreneurs everywhere so do your bit, if you can to get fundraising and walking, every little helps.

Check out this great website and see how you can get involved - http://tinyurl.com/yldtmwz. .

Is someone trying to get a message to you?

Where do I start? Perhaps one step at a time or as the strong messages that have been coming my way this morning say - 'do one thing at a time and complete it, then move on'. Sounds like good advice so why am I so bad at doing it?

No longer......

After having that same message come my way 3-4 times this morning I'm taking notice also because it might help with the over powering feeling I have of never getting all I want to do done.

Yes, I know, most of us probably feel like that at some time but I a) always plan to do far too much in one day, like a huge to do list b)I also try to multitask as new things come into my head. Result - total failure, very little completed and a great deal of frustration on my part.

This morning, I've stuck to one thing at a time and so far so good. So instead of trying to talk about 101 things in this blog posting just one. That is the repetition of messages like above where I read 'do one thing' in a book, then again in an article, then someone discussed the phenomena on a teleclass and as it's where I fall down I guess I should take this one board.

Are you getting any strong messages? Are you paying attention? Do you know what it all means for you?

Just take a little time and try and understand it all. Have a great day and I may blog again later, I definitely have loads to say.

They are excellent - Excellent Development

Many years ago when I hadn't been coaching for long, I took on a new client Simon Madrell who was in the midst of making a decision about career direction.

For Simon his next career move had to honour his values including the environment, being ethical and authentic and helping others.

We explored many avenues over a period of months and in the end up I remember saying "perhaps you need to set up your own charity" and that's just what he did.

Simon and Joshua who is based in Kenya and is the person who inspired Simon when he was a boyscout, have achieved amazing things and I'm so proud to be connected with them.

They won Charity Awards 2008 and today I heard that they've just won Third Sector Magazine 'Small Charity, Big Achiever' Winner 2009 which is one of their top 3 awards - the others going to an individual and a big charity.

They are a charity you need to check out - http://www.excellentdevelopment.com/

More Simple Abundance advice.

I've also had to catch up on my Simple Abundance reading and I came across this yesterday, all be it from the section for Sept 19th. It's not time limited, this advice relates to anytime.

Sarah Ban Breathnach writes

"Ambition is achievement's soul mate. Action is the matchmaker that brings these affinities together so that sparks can begin to fly and we can set the world on fire"

Wonderful, wonderful stuff.

What, no blog posts?

What have I been doing since September 11th?

A quick trip through my diary reminds me of :

• A very sociable weekend catching up with friends
• a hectic but wonderful couple of days coaching NHS staff in the Chelmsford area as part of a Leadership Course they are doing. They were all fantastic people and I get to see them twice again as part of this initiative.
• some one to one clients on career and life management issues and also stress management
• the discovery of a suspected Achilles problem and research to find out what I could do about that
• a cancelled EEG walk as a result of my discovery above
• networking
• webinar planning with MediaCoach
• paperwork

Yes, it has been busy and I believe that because of that the creativity was not there for me to write.
Sun is shining this morning and it's stunning. I'm holding off my return to walking until tomorrow for my Friday group and then we'll give it an air before the walking trip to France next week. More about that later.

A Psalm for Life

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote:

Let us, then, be up and doing
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to Labor and to wait.

I came across this as the quote for Sept 11th in my Simple Abundance book which, over the years has become rather a bible for me. What a great mantra to live life by.

I have a full day in the office today and I've been up and doing already - feels great.

Keeping on the move.

I've done my East End Girl walks through the summer and did some wonderful exploring of new walks too as well as some client 'walk and talk' sessions but I have to admit that my early morning walking has been rather hit and miss.

I do miss that energetic start to the day so come Sept 1st I started them up again and already 3 days in I feel so much better, so much more energised and therefore more able to tackle the work load that has now come back into my life. I've been making a real effort to power walk and arrive home really hot and sweaty and knowing that I've had a bit of a workout, it makes me feel really great.

If you are aware that you need to get moving more then don't worry too much about the 'hot and sweaty' at the start, just aim to get out there more. There's a wide choice of exercise available but if you're not a swimmer, not into the gym, not a team player and find it hard to attend a class then perhaps walking is for you.

According to research from the Centre of Inflammation and Metabolism in Copenhagen it's the small bouts of activity throughout the day that protect our body from disease. They found that even slight reductions in activity levels quickly added up the chances of age related disease such as heart disease and diabetes.

So what can you do? It's really quite simple:-

• take the stairs instead of the lift.
• walk instead of drive for short journeys
• get off transport a stop earlier and walk
• don't email colleagues in the same building, go and visit them
• take up dancing with friends and make an evening of it
• meet friends for a walk and then have a coffee
• dance around the house
• use your kids trampoline
• get on the kids wii
• put more effort into the housework
• join a walking group
• get a pedometer, it's a great motivational tool

I'm sure there are loads more ideas but these will get you started and don't forget small amounts, you don't have to commit to hours of activity at any one time. Have fun.

No such thing as a banal tweet

I was recently asked to write about 'How Twitter can boost your networking and bring you new clients' for a newsletter I write for regularly. I've been on Twitter for more than a year now and am loving it - it's by far my favourite social networking tool and I have been giving talks to my local Athena groups about it and how to use it to your benefit.

Of course the comments that people make are interesting especially those who to date have not tried it but have picked up, usually through the media, info regarding the fact that it's all about what you had for lunch! I love the turn around that often comes when I explain what you can write in 140 characters and how it can promote and leverage your business as well as increase your networking.

One of the things I mentioned in the article was that 'I might even comment, as I did yesterday, on the blackberries on one of my favourite walks. That tweet got about 10 responses, with people sending recipes, saying I’d inspired them to go out and commenting on the importance of getting out in the fresh air.'

That tweet is still getting comments and the discussion has gone on over the weekend. Now that's exactly the kind of tweet some might label as 'banal' but it's my experience that tweets like this are the ones that really heighten your profile because they are the tweets that people relate to, the ones that show people you may be like-minded, the ones through which people get a feel for you and as they build the relationship, they want to do business with you at all.

Yes, people go to my blog and website when I tweet, yes, they ask for help and assistance but this tweet is the one that's got the most responses ever.

As Joel Comm, the man who wrote Twitter Power: How to Dominate Your Market One Tweet at a Time would say tweets like this are ‘a little bit of human interaction’

Liquorice for ever!!

Love it when I come across info that backs up what I believe or lets me know that something I do is good for my health. Discovered this today and wanted to share it with you.

If you have a sweet tooth and you're trying to cut down on your intake, how do you cope when you get that sweet urge? Well I know we can try and work through it and if we succeed we feel very virtuous but what if the urge just gets stronger and stronger?

One thing I do is to chew/eat liquorice but of course as it is sweet, I often wonder if it's really a healthier way of getting that fix. Well, apparently it is.

In China liquorice is known as 'the Great Detoxifier' and actually it seems as if this is a bit of a superfood with all that it can do. Among the benefits it bestows is the ability to:

• ease asthmatic coughs
• relieve exhaustion and stress
• balance hormones
• offer pain relief
• reduce inflammation
• cure hangovers
• help lose weight

Well all this has helped me feel better about it so I'm out to build up my stock. The only thing lacking in information about the amount you can eat so when I find that out, I'll pass it on. Happy chewing.

Dancing's great for your health.

As someone who has just got into Salsa dancing, I was delighted to read that research conducted by Queens University in Belfast found that regular dancing helps you age well. Now isn't that good news.

According to Anthropology lecturer Johnathan Skinner "Dancing alleviates social isolation, gives us something to live for and literally takes away the aches and pains of ageing"

I've only been doing Salsa for two lessons with my wonderful husband and we love it. Our teacher Lou, tells us we are doing really well and we can regularly be found salsaing round the kitchen as we prepare dinner.

All work and no play, well you know what they say.

Why is it that when we know that taking a break, as in days off, is good for us and when we have oodles of research that backs it up, do nearly 25% of British employees not take their full holiday entitlement?

According to info in the most recent Management Today, it's because they fear redundancy if they aren't there. Very sad but probably true.

Come on everyone, let's get wise on this one. No-one should give up their life to their employer, we all have lives outside work and need balance in those lives. Even if you take a long weekend, you'll benefit so start scheduling in some breaks and reap the benefits of being more productive and efficient; less stressed and a much nicer person to be around.

And no taking the work phone, computer etc away with you, go cold turkey and have a real break. Who knows you may even want to do it again, I so hope so.

Hazel's Monday Motivator Broadcast

I get these wonderful Motivator Broadcasts from the wonderful Hazel Palache and for a Monday morning this was so apt I wanted to share it with you:

"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily." - Zig Ziglar

I was asked recently how I managed to stayed motivated every day. Having not been asked that question for a long time many things have changed so I gave it a minute's thought. You know what I realized; it's really not challenging when you are doing something you love and when you have the right kind of action and marketing plans in place to make it flow more easily.

Have focused creative goals
Create a good marketing plan
Take daily action
Make sure you are serving your ideal client/customer
Be passionate about what you do and know why you are doing it!
Have a coach/mentor to stay on track and keep you accountable!

If you have all the above in place you will find yourself continually motivated.


Hazel is the Entrepreneurs Results Coach. A best selling author, coach and speaker. She is an expert on the subject of creating great results. Her goal is to help you unleash your potential to create the life of your dreams. Learn about her cutting edge result strategies. www.sayyestoyoucoaching.com

..and do get on board and sign up, it's all great stuff.

Hectic week

It's been a really crazy week in our house, schools breaking up, drama end of term events, drama exams, days out and painting so I haven't really had the chance to miss my poor husband who's been in Phoenix since Thursday 16th.

In busy times it's all too easy to let good habits slip a little bit because there's just not time but of course it's a false economy. The time taken to write in my journal, have 15 mins meditation time , go for my early morning walk actually doesn't take that long and is an investment in 'me'. After a few days, I've begun to notice that I'm not quite as in flow as I was and my cheery disposition isn't quite so cheery.

However, at least I'm aware of it and can take some action to restore these good habits and improve life for all around and especially for me. So I'll be having an early night, walking tomorrow and doing some reading and journal writing on Sunday.

Hope you have a great weekend too.

Dark clouds looming

Well there have been plenty of these dark clouds around over the last few days and as you see from my photo this morning , still more abound.

Luckily I was on my way home from my walk when I took this and managed to get home before the rain.

How do these clouds make you feel? What effect does the oncoming storm have? I love the depth of colour, it amazes me how dark it can become and of course it's often fairly warm too so it can feel really weighty and oppressive. Sometimes it can feel like the weight of the world bearing down.

Then of course there was last night. I don't know about where you were but in East London/ Essex there was the most amazing storm that rolled around for hours sending flashes of lightening to illuminate the whole house and crashes of thunder, which Ellie insisted, had caused the house to shake.

I like being safe inside and listening to and watching storms. They are so powerful and remind me how small and insignificant I really am. I don't mean this in a bad way but in a way that brings me to terms with the lack of importance I, like most other individuals, place on small things. When the power of en electric storm is around you, those little things fade.

When a storm has passed the air seems fresher, the burden has been lifted and everything seems lighter. It's as if the torrential rain that usually accompanies these storms has washed , not only the streets but my head too. I feel clearer.

I love the power of all water and love to be by the sea. I love to walk along empty beaches when the sea is pounding the rocks and crashing up the beach. Perhaps this love of water is also why, when my head feels heavy, I often go and have a shower, allowing the power of the water to pummel my scalp and clear my mind.

Where I am in my life at the moment, the storms mirror some of my inner turmoil as I try and decide where I need to go next. Sometimes, I just roll the same things round and round in my head and can see no direction then at other times, I get flashes of clarity just like when the sun shines out of that magnificent blue sky, after the rain.

The storms and erratic weather won't last for ever and neither will my fuzzy head, wonder what will develop out of it all?

The fun and challenge of midlife.

Does midlife mean anything to you? Do you relate to it as a time of your life? How does it feel to be there? Are you excited and hopeful, confused and disillusioned or caught up in it all and being carried along?

Wherever you find yourself, have a look at what my dear friend Karen Knott is doing. Karen is a coach and facilitator who works with mid-life women to help them make the most of this important transitional life stage and at the moment she is doing a wonderful A - Z of midlife on her blog - http://midlifematters.wordpress.com/

I recommend you take a look and laugh and cry along......

Here's the latest one.

"F is for 40’s and 50’s

When people ask me when midlife starts and ends, I try to explain that it isn’t a definable chronological age, so much as a life stage that we pass through in our own time, according to our own unique circumstances. So why then have I chosen 40 and 50 to represent F in my A-Z of Midlife? Well, because most people WILL move in and through the hugely important midlife phase at some point during this time.

There is something about those ‘big’ birthdays that end with a nought… they symbolise the ending of one decade and the beginning of another (obviously, duh!) but there’s something else about them. For a start, they tend to be the birthdays that many people find ‘difficult’. They seem to represent a psychological threshold – with some determined to stay THIS side of the threshold and others realising that they want things to be somehow ‘different’ the other side of the threshold.

For the baby boomer generation, our 40’s and 50’s represent something very different to that of our parent’s that’s for sure. Age boundaries are considerably more ‘fluid’ now, due in no small part to improvements in health, wealth and education – consequently, we have different opportunities and expectations. When I was 40, I gave birth for the first time, another friend became a grandmother for the second time and another was forging an impressive career path in corporate banking. All a similar age but each with very different realities.

We now know that 40 is the ‘new 30’ and 50 is the ‘new 40’, don’t we? What we don’t really know is WHAT the ‘new 30’ or the ‘new 40’ actually means for us – but at some point during these years, we are very likely to embark on the distinctive midlife journey in an attempt to find out.

Importance of a meal

Still on my Simple Abundance journey even though I haven't mentioned it in my blog recently. This year I've managed to get the whole way to July 15th without missing a day and I'm getting so much out of this wonderful book. I also know that I'll be reading it again next year and still learning.

I thoroughly recommend it - "simple Abundance - a daybook of Comfort and Joy" - by Sarah Ban Breathnach - request it as a pressie.

There was a lovely piece in it yesterday that I just want to share:
"The evening meal should be the higlight of the day. If the day has been peaceful, pleasurable and profitable, it's time to celebrate. If the day has beeen difficult and discouraging, it's time for comfort and consolation - blessings by themselves and reason to celebrate. Either way the celebrating table bids"

A reminder to us all of the need to stop and to come together to share, to talk, to support and to celebrate.

Are you committed?

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen events, meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would have come their way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: “Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!” ~WH Murray

Network on foot too.

I do many of my one to one networking sessions on foot now especially when the weather is good. We walk and talk so are not tempted by cream cakes and other delights and of course we get some exercise in too.

As when I coach on foot, I always seem to come back with a greater understanding of the person and a bigger picture and we both feel great too.

Last Thursday I walked with Karen Flint, (in the photo) who I'd met at one of my Athena meetings and at last our diaries coincided to let us get out there walking. Not only was it a lovely warm day but I discovered a new part of a route, got to see the lake at Highams Park in all it's glory and learnt loads about Forever Living Products. I was in fact using one of their lip balms as we walked and it's the softest and most gentle lip balm I've ever used.

I recommend both Karen, who is a very engaging and hard working lady totally and the products, which Karen is clearly fully committed to. To find out more, visit http://www.freedomofbeauty.com/

Wonderful weekends

Just back from another "neighbours 'do'" and this must have been one of the soberest ever!! Are we getting too sensible? Running out of steam? Too old? Who knows and does it matter if we still have fun?

We realised that these 'do's' started 10 years ago in January and apart from a year when Mark, Becki and the girls first moved, we've been going strong ever since. So many shared experiences, in jokes and sore heads and the kids who age from 7 - 17 now have literally know each other most of or all of their lives.

Now a days we stretch it out until after Sunday lunch but the adults are already planning the long weekends when they are all off our hands and we can head off to places new for a whole weekend.

Although it wasn't as drunken and riotous and events passed, Alan still needed to have a doze in the sun.....

He was also dozing in the sun last weekend when we escaped, without 12 year old, to celebrate my birthday in Deal.....

Al was just saying how doing more things at weekends seems, in a bizarre way, be the secret to feeling that you've done more and yet not being shattered. Sounds weird I know.

On our last two weekends, we've been away for about 26 hours yet have been really chilled and relaxed and felt we've been away for ages. I recommend doing this much more often.

Here are some more photos of my favourite location - anywhere really that is beside the sea.

I have to admit to not rating Deal Pier at all, it didn't look much from the distance and as a result , we didn't go out on it. Realised later that it won an award in 2008 - Pier of the Year 2008 by the National Piers Society. Oops!! Read a bit about it here - http://www.doverdc.co.uk/news/press_releases/deal_pier_wins_national_award.aspx Yes, I'll go out there next time I visit.

And finally, like this photo too.

It's so important to chill, so important to recharge your batteries so please do.... You'll be more efficient and a nicer person to boot.

Praise for Breast Cancer Care

The one thing on my priority list this morning was talking to someone at Breast Cancer Care about my experience of the Pink Ribbon Walk last Saturday. I had been so impressed that I wanted to pass the message on to the people who do all the hard work.

Through the medium of Twitter I was able to get a name and number and I've just called the lovely Georgina who was a delight to speak to.

Having worked for charities myself for many years I know only too well how hard it is to fund raise especially in these challenging times, yet how important it is to get that money in. I also know how often we follow up problems and issues to complain and how easy it is to feel happy about something but never quite get round to letting the people that matter know about it.

I got a load of pleasure being able to pass on this great feedback to Georgina who I'm sure will pass it onto her team and I know I made her very happy too.

So, who could you tell today about some wonderful experience you've had? Who could you feedback to? Whose day could you make? ...and is this something you could do more often?

If you're into walking then I can heartily recommend a Pink Ribbon Walk for you in 2010. Have a look at http://www.breastcancercare.org.uk/server/show/nav.725

Inspiration from Victoria Player

Days since I posted but I know where those days have gone and that's OK, I've been really busy and will be blogging about the things that have taken up my time especially my Pink Ribbon Walk as soon as possible.

Today, after being out of the office a great deal, I'm in catch up mode and one of the things I needed to get to speed with was Victoria Players - "Women';s Entrepreneur Club" so I'm starting from scratch and getting to know what's going on etc.

I've just listened to Victoria's audio on "3 keys to turning online conversations into currency" and I thought it was excellent. What I was really impressed with was her really clear guidance on what she wanted her listeners to do next. One of those was posting on her blog. Now although I often intend to do that I don't often get round to it , yet today I did and it's inspired me to do so more often.

The information in the short audio was concise, simple and really inspirational so now I'm off to set my action points, diarise them and get going and then I'll listen again.

I have been spending a lot of time recently on my investment in social media/social networking and it's been great. I still have a lot to learn but I can see the communities growing very quickly and I know I'm going to reap the benefits here very soon.

I look forward to what Victoria offers next, I'm off to catch up a little more on this one.

If you want to get onto this too, visit http://www.womenentrepreneursclub.com/ or http://www.victoriaplayer.com/

Coffee hangover

Been giving all this well-being and wellness so much thought and have been struggling where to start. In fact I've really been pushing it all too hard, trying to make sense, trying to get clarity, trying to find the next step.

Have decided to stop pushing and let it go and believe it will flow.

Started yesterday off with a splitting headache and it never left. Started off not knowing what it was. Worked out as the day went on that it was lack of coffee!

I don't drink much coffee at all and can go for days without but on reflection I've been upping the intake recently - again not much but for me, much more than before - now it's catching up on me and my body's saying 'no'. It's still with me today and that's after drinking loads of water yesterday, chilling last night and having an early night. I have to listen.

Do I want to go through this again and be under par for 48 hours? I think you know the answer. I'm drastically cutting back and keeping the odd cup for a big treat.

Wellbeing? Wellness?.....

Which is it?

My experiment regarding my own wellbeing or wellness is not quite flowing but actually that's ok. It's not flowing because I'm not clear, so how and why would it flow? I'm not even sure what definition to work too so I'm exploring.

I went out walking this morning with the specific goal of sorting out all the thoughts in my head regarding what I was trying to do. I walked in wonderful sunshine through parts of Epping Forest on a walk I love and I sat on an old tree trunk for 5 minutes just being. Am I clearer? Well, a little and what I have done is accepted that this is all part of the journey.

There is a reason for me being in this state or at this stage.

Why do I want to sort out my wellbeing or wellness? I was 50 on my last birthday and I look and feel much younger. My philosophy re age is that it's just a number and we all know 25 year olds going on 50 and 77 year olds who have as much energy and joy de vivre as many who are in their twenties.

I'm in good shape, I walk miles, I'm positive but in my mind I'm not as fit or toned as I could be. I don't eat as well as I could, I'm still seeking the balance I crave and the calmness in my life ....so I've decided to go seek it and I believe that great things will happen as a result.

I was meant to come to this place and the lack of clarity is testing me as will all the things I aim to do over the next while. In fact I've been on this journey since I turned 50. It's been a year of challenge and has called for persistence and determination and I've struck with it so far.

It's exciting and it's scary and I need your help , guidance and support as I follow this path. I'm going to blog, tweet, talk and mostly do recording the ups and the downs and ask loads of questions and as I'm drawn more and more to work on wellness and wellbeing with wonderful women and use my walking as an integral part of it all, this experiment will teach me so much.

Short and sweet but powerful!

"It takes 64 seconds to retrieve your train of thought after interruption by e-mail, one study shows.

That means if you check your in-box every 5 minutes, you waste 8.5 hours a week. Try intervals of 45 minutes, and turn off the "new e-mail" pop-up alert."

Source: Thomas Jackson, PhD, Loughborough University.

Well that surely gave me food for thought, what about you?

Do it Kenny's way.

When I'm coaching, either in 'walk and talk' sessions, over the phone or in my Business Manager capacity, I'm working with wonderful women in business who need to present ideas in meetings or communicate projects, developments at conferences. Some are just concerned about how they tell people what they do in a simple and clear way.

My philosophy is 'why reinvent the wheel' when others have explained how you do this so well. In this case, a dear friend and colleague Kenny Harris http://www.headsurfing.com/ who is writing here about staying on top of your material– without over-reliance on notes or (hopefully not!) a script......

Hard Work warning. You have to learn it, and you have to rehearse it. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve shared a stage with an ‘internal’ or industry speaker who stumbled over their material, or lost their way. Afterwards, they’ll often say something like “but you make it look easy”. It may look easy, but only because I’ve put the work in (and the same goes for most other professional speakers).

Here’s how you make the hard work a bit easier.

As soon as you know you have to speak, put a few pages in your notebook aside for that event. Start with an outline of what you want to say, do, or achieve.

Over the weeks or days before the event, keep notes in your book whenever an idea comes to you about a point to make, or a story or example to use.

When it comes to writing, start with the opening, and the ending, and learn those off by heart.

Have a full rehearsal during the weekend before. And whenever you have a moment (in the car, on the train, or while grabbing a coffee) have a run through of different parts of the speech in your head. Do a full walk through (yes, on your feet) the day before. And then again during the evening before (and early in the morning of the event too if it’s possible).

Finally, by all means use short notes or bullet points, or a mind map – but don’t get tied to them.

Kenny's an inspirational and entertaining speaker, consultant and workshop leader on creative thinking, innovation, and humour. He works with leading companies, public organisations and small businesses to help them get more ideas and better ideas, more of the time. He's the creator of HeadSurfing, a radical programme of creative thinking for individuals, teams and organisations.... and he's a brilliant guy too.

If you can imagine it....

"If you can imagine it, you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you can become it." ~ William Arthur Ward

I working hard on this.

Have a great day.

No camera, how sad.

When I walk I so often have my camera but neither yesterday morning first thing nor on my 'walk and talk' session today, did I have it with me.What a shame.

Yesterday I seemed to come across oodles and oodles of bright pink peony roses and I also met people like Mandy and her daughter Amy, whom I hadn't seen for ages.

Today, no peonies but Knighton woods in Buckhurst Hill was full of wonderful pink and purple rhododendons, yellow water lillies, birdsong and ducks. In the middle of our session, Hannake and I took time out to stop, listen and watch and there were so many different bird sounds.

Now I'm back in the office, the birds are still singing this time in the garden and tomorrow morning, I'm taking the camera.

Just one of the joys of walking.

Monthly review throws up 'gems'

At the start of each month, I take some time to review the one that's just passed. It was working my way though a terrific book called 'Simple Abundance' that inspired me with the idea and no matter how often I read and re-read the book, the gems of wisdom still appear.

Today as I sat in the sun, this one re-surfaced.

"There is an old Indian proverb or axiom that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time, but unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person."

I love this. Does it resonnate with you?

All in a weekend.

What a wonderful weekend I've just been blessed to have. The weather was glorious so we spent every moment we could in the garden. We ate there, entertained, relaxed, did a little gardening and I also continued with my clearing and de-cluttering - a journey I've been on now for about 18 months.

The length of time could lead you to believe that my house is full of clutter. Not true at all but in my experience it all takes time. I've been working on it bit by bit when the time is right and often the clearing out brings up other things that need action.

An example of this is time spent in the attic where you often unearth things you didn't know were still there. In the attic were also a number of things that Ellie had outgrown and records of Al's , some of which could be worth some money. So the de-cluttering stopped as we photographed item and wrote them up to sell on ebay.

More recently I've been clearing books from the office and was able to start selling some of those to colleagues and people new to the coaching field. Over the weekend, I spent many pleasant hours on the sun lounger or in the hammock seat reading and looking through books to work out whether they should be kept or passed on.

Work in the office is in it's early stages. I have a clear image of how I want it to be and a book I found on Feng Shui will definitely help.

Where's your focus?

Mine is, to be honest, all over the place at present. There, I have admitted it and worse still it's been all over the place for a while.

I'm in a place of transformation, not only the crossroads but more like an 8 armed star - rather like driving round the Arc de Triomphe and not sure which road to take to leave it.

I've been saying 'yes' too much. I've been trying out new ideas and there's too much going on so nothing is getting the time it deserves. Ideally I need to take time out but when? Is this something you can identify with?

Last night, when we had the first meeting of my wonderful mastermind group, the need to focus came up over and over again as many of us, all women, juggled with a range of different things in our lives. Focus is what I need. I don't need to lose things for ever, just park them and focus on what is important for now.

This morning, in my Simple Abundance reading, I came across the following - Henry David Thoreau believed "our life is frittered away by detail." Sarah Ban Breathnach disagrees "I think our lives are frittered away by lack of focus"

Meant just for me, I feel and perhaps for you too. Here's to an increase in that focus.

'Have nothing in your homes that you do not know to be useful and believe to be beautiful'

This quote by William Morris lead me to work my way round the house room by room looking at all the accumulated 'stuff' with wider eyes and, apart from a thing or two here and there, I can honestly say that all three of us agreed that what was there was useful and/or beautiful. It was a lovely outcome.

What it did make us look at though was some changes that we could make in the layout of some rooms and pieces of furniture etc that could go in different places.

I have to do the same with the office now. Something tells me that's not going to be so straight forward.

Should have read the whole piece...

Oops, I was so taken with the first part that only after blogging, did I finish it and of course that's powerful too so please read on.

"When we navigate through our business and our lives, we really don't realize how much we are reacting to our unconscious perceptions of what is going on around us. When we do realize that we are reacting to something, we start looking for agreement to justify how we are feeling... and you know what? We find it!! What do you want to find in your life? Love? Success? Health? What are your circumstances suggesting is your reality? Suggestions are nothing more than unconscious projections from your mind making you believe that everything is happening to you. Guess what it's not true!!
You have a choice and with that choice you can create anything you desire.

Activate that choice everyday and let yourself bask it the peace that is all around you!! "

Thanks again David - www.DavidNeagle.com

A very powerful realisation and lesson

Hi there,

I'm a fan of David Neagle - www.DavidNeagle.com and continuously learn from his insights and experience. Reading his latest newsletter this morning, I was struck by the following:-

"I just returned from a long over due trip to Maui, a very peaceful and serene place... so much so that from the moment you step off the plane, you are pulled into a peaceful state. Here's what important to "see": it's the people of Maui that are feeling at peace, adding to the peace of the environment itself. Yes, the environment is powerful also... but what's even more potent is the apparent decision of the population to be in harmony... to receive Spirit in each moment.
Here's an example of what I mean: I went to several places for dinner while I was there and each time was astounded by how audibly quiet the space was, even though the restaurants were full of people talking. It was like this at every place I went. When I got back to San Diego I took my kids out to dinner at a small but nice restaurant and was in body shock at how loud it was. It was so loud that we could hardly hear each other talk. I thought this was very interesting because the people all "seemed the same", but clearly they were not as their environment was representing the chaos of what they were feeling inside."

I can tell you that I know I am going to be so much more aware of this from now on. It does bring back an experience I had travelling on french railways. In the UK, train travel is noisy wit people on phones, talking loudly , laughing in groups etc and I'm a great lover of peace and quiet. In France, the trains were just as busy but people talked quietly, didn't use phones in the carriage and it all seemed much calmer. Now of course I'm thinking of the reflection of their lives etc.

Would love to hear if this invokes any insight for you and thanks David for bringing this to my attention.

WHAT'S IT ALL ABOUT?

Through my "walk and talk " sessions, I'm often working with business owners and people who want to raise their profiles. They are often required to do this through presenting and I make no apology for borrowing from my husband and business partner Alan Stevens - http://www.mediacoach.co.uk/ for this posting.

When I read Alan's ezine, this really resonated with me and I'm sure it will with you too.

I don't know if you've ever sat through a speech or conference presentation and thought afterwards "What was that about?" If that is your reaction, then the speaker has failed badly. The point that the speaker wishes to make should be crystal clear, and even if you disagree, you should definitely understand their point of view.
When you are delivering a speech, the same rule applies. In order to make a point, you must have a point. It isn't good enough to turn up and tell a few stories. In order to help you prepare, write down your key message in large letters on a piece of A4 paper, and stick it to your wall, or keep it on your desk, as you write your speech notes. Keep checking to make sure that your speech is about your main point.

How do you know when you have a great message in your speech? Apply this test. It should be
Brief
Relevant
Memorable

Best of all, it should pass this test too. Will members of your audience say "I heard a great speech last week - it was about......"


Makes you think, doesn't it?

Have faith in the strength and quality of self.

Today's Simple Abundance quote is "Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of someone else." It came from Judy Garland and it really resonated with me.

As Sarah Ban Breathnach herself says it took her a long time to realise this and she's not been the same person since. She talks about the pressure on us females to be like other women but actually we want to stop this comparison and to work on our own authenticity.

Who are you really? Can you claim to be truthfully yourself? How can you work towards achieving this?

We are all too hard on ourselves, we are striving for perfection but I believe perfection doesn't exist in people so why are we killing ourselves in trying to achieve it? We should only strive to be first-rate versions of ourself. That's what I'm taking from today.

Springs glories

It was truly a pleasure to walk this morning.

The clear skies and sun of the last few days meant a dusting of frost last night that hadn't quite gone as I left the house at 7.10 so I had wisely wrapped up but soon that frost was turning to dew like drops still shining in the spring sun. Again the sky was clear.

As I walk these mornings, I am taken by what progress nature makes on a daily basis with leaves unfurling more and more from their protective bud shells.

Soon the trees will have a cover again blocking many of the sites I can currently enjoy, even more reason to get out now and enjoy them to the full. I've been amazed at the amount of blossom too and this seems to increase every morning.

Of course when the leaf cover is there, it provides the shade under which to lie and contemplate life or under which to picnic and keep cooler in the hot summer days I'm looking forward to.

Looks like today will be another stunning day. If you have the chance to grab even 15 minutes, get out there, stretch your legs and enjoy all that nature is offering to you right in front of your eyes. Breath in the spring air, enjoy the warmth and return to your desk with a spring in your step.

A lunchtime walk will increase your efficiency in the afternoon and ensure that the 'after lunch slump' is banished leaving you to end the day feeling productive and satisfied.

Spring Zing

What beautiful spring weather, don't waste it, get on some comfortable shoes and get out there.

Walking, even if you just take a wander around the block, to the shops or to the park, can make you feel great and boost the day ahead. It can also beat depression, improve your heart, and help you stay in shape and if you walk with a friend there's someone to share the sights with and when you chat as you walk, you'll probably cover even more ground but it won't feel like it.

Even 15 minutes in your local area could jump start your Spring of fun, fitness, and fresh air!

What do you think?

"You should never regret what you've done, only what you haven't done" Quentin Crisp - a great one to really think about.

Time to grow.

Having my first 'Creative Day' and just about to head off to a quiet place to work and plan.

Years ago the way I planned my coaching allowed me to have a 'development week' when I didn't coach and I worked on projects that otherwise would not have seen the light of day. Now the structure is different and after being somewhat frustrated at the inaction, I came up with this concept.

Watch this space, I shall report back later and let you know how I get on. Have a great day, I plan to.

Sunny start to the day

I don't know about you but I like a great start to the day , it's one of the reasons I walk as it grounds me and gets the day in perspective.

My office is at the bottom of the garden so not a long journey and I love the look of my turquoise painted office and how it seems to greet me and beckon me in. At the moment I'm also greeted by a beautiful pot of sunny daffodils. How about that?

Those happy little flowers just can't help but make me smile and they're so pretty. It just makes my morning, every morning and later in the year I plant red geraniums.

How can you brighten up your trip to work or your entrance to the office? How can you brighten up your day?

Have a great day.

Searching for my authentic self

Searching for my authentic self is what February's theme in 'Simple Abundance' is and I'm finding working my way through this month harder than last. I feel I'm not quite getting there but I am persevering and persisting which are two of the qualities I believe you have to have to get to where you want.

All these photos represent aspects of me and my authentic self is an integration of them all and more, the bit I've not quite sussed yet.

At times in the past I've given up too easily. I've not been persistent enough or persevered for as long as I could but not this time, this time is different because I do feel I'm on the right track. However, this journey is hard and there are loads of realisations and tears.

I went for a wonderful treatment on Tuesday, it was in a place I love and the treatment was a 50th birthday pressie. I was waiting to find the right time to have it and I did. Was it wonderful? Well yes and no.

'The Relaxation Place' is a stunning venue and Maxine is a wonderful therapist so all of that was superb. So where the oils, the candles, the ambiance, the warmth etc but while having it I realised just how stressed I was and I got very emotional and spent most of the evening in tears and writing in my journal working through ways that I could work to tackle this stress.

I did enjoy my special present, I do wish there wasn't so much stress in my life or that I was coping with it better but I do believe I was meant to have the experience that I did and it's just another part of this journey.

I will get there and so will you.

Overload, over commitment......

After our Monday morning meeting Alan and I were discussing why we failed to do all we'd committed to when we'd really considered our diary before entering 'to do' dates. " there's always so many other things come in" he replied "and I'm having trouble keeping up"

As yesterday developed, I found myself constantly interrupted by other things that needed done, so much so that yesterday's 'to do' list got buried and I felt totally unsatisfied. I'd done loads but not what I planned. In fact this morning I wrote in my journal that today was going to be an office based, get back on track today. I'm very determined.

Does this resonate with you?

Then as I started my day with checking my email, there was a timely blog posting from my good friend and fellow walker, Marc Leblanc. How often this happens when I need it so here it is for you to.

Take a deep breath

Posted: 09 Feb 2009 07:56 AM CST
As hard as I try to meet the challenges of the month, week, day and moment; I find obligations, commitments, tasks, responsibilities, interruptions and distractions get in the way of doing more of what I want to do and doing the good work I feel called and compelled to do. It is an on-going test of your benchmarks and boundaries that will keep you focused and moving forward in the direction of your dream. Trust the process. But, make sure you have a process, a path, a plan and a philosophy for your business and your life.
Mark LeBlanc http://www.SmallBusinessSuccess.com

Time for me to revisit the process, perhaps this will encourage you to do too.

Smiling feedback

I know we don't always have time to check comments on blogs so I wanted to share this with you. It's from my fellow walker Darlene in Canada.

"I used to live in Germany where it wasn't that common to smile and say "hello" as you passed someone on the street. One morning while I was out walking I smiled and said hello to a woman I was passing. She smiled back, stopped, and asked me if she knew me! We struck up quite conversation. It's a great way to make new friends!"

Care to try it out?

In times of redundancies and job search...

Whether you've recently been made redundant, are looking for a career change or upgrade or you're at the start of your career the three companies which are currently the biggest recruiters are BSkyB, Atkins and Ernst and Young. So have a look and check out the range of jobs.

Thanks to the latest Aurora newsletter for this. Let me know about your successes.

Smiling

For her religious education homework this week my daughter had to write her own 10 commandments.

Her list included -

• always do your best


• be positive


• be kind to all living things


• be honest


• smile often

The "smile often" is one that particularly resonated with me as it's very hard not to respond when someone smiles at you, it makes you feel good and it also takes less muscles to smile that it does to frown.

Often when I'm out walking I smile at everyone I meet, the majority smile back. There's always one who just looks perplexed.....

Sorting through some papers this morning I found this poem and wanted to share it with you.

Smiling

Smiling is infectious

You catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today

I started smiling too

I passed around the corner

And someone saw me grin

And when he smiled I realised

I'd passed it onto him

I thought about the smile

And I realised its worth

A single smile like mine

Could travel round the earth

If you feel a smile begin

Don't leave it undetected

Let's start and epidemic quick

And get the world infected.

The poem itself is enough to get you frowning so let it go and pass it on and let's smile through the day, week and year.

Excellent Development

The above charity - http://www.excellentdevelopment.com/is very close to my heart as it's co-founder Simon Madrell was an early coaching client of mine and together we worked on his career move which led to the charity formation.

Simon is someone who truly walks his talk and what he and his team have achieved in the time since they set up is amazing. Specialising in planting trees and building sand dams they have recently built its 200th sand dam since 2002. They are currently working with over 50 communities to bring water and food security to some of the driest areas of rural Kenya. The sand dams transform environments and transform lives.

To find out more visit the website and you may want to purchase one of their Tree Duty bags to use.

Oh yes, and in 2008 they won Charity of the Year at the Charity Awards. Just wonderful.

My Simple Abundance Journey

I'm still on it and haven't missed a day. There's so much to learn and to put into practice and I'm sure I've missed things but I do feel I'm on top of the gratitude element. Even as I walked just after 7.00 this morning I found myself saying thanks so much for all that I have.

For me the 6 threads of Abundant Living are all coming together - the gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy. They all link and lead one into another. I feel a greater simplicity in life and the continuous de-cluttering is helping that further. Even Ellie had a major de-cluttering session on Sunday. The simplicity makes the order clearer and that brings harmony and all of it allows me to see the beauty and joy more clearly and to feel it too.

On Friday I am having my Friday review and part of that will be reviewing my Simple Abundant journey so far. I am sure I will pick up on other things and learn more. I'm so looking forward to it.

Just got to decide where to go to have it. I want somewhere warm and cosy and away from my office.

Interesting view on free time.

My Lonely Planet weekly email dropped into the inbox this morning bringing just the right equation for these dull, dark and dismal days (if you live in the northern hemisphere that is). It's the time of year that many people hate and all they see stretching ahead is cold and dark. so get a load of this.

Weekends + bank holidays + statutory annual leave = 132 days and as Lonely Planet ask - What could you do with all that time?

Well for me of course I'm already thinking of walking some more of the Camino with my dear friend Teresa. Also can I fit some walking in when I'm in Phoenix in July or is that madness knowing what the temperatures will be like? Anyone reading got any other ideas of where I should go to walk/trek if I am in the USA at that time of the year?

OK, walking may not be your thing but to raise yourself out of the doldrums, take control and just think about what you could do with that time. What about your plans for the weekend? A;so make sure you take your holiday entitlement as so many people don't. You need that break to recharge your batteries.

Come on bring some brightness and sunshine into your life... and thanks Lonely Planet for this.

Simplification

In my reading each morning, it never fails to amaze me how often the message is spot on. Today was no exception so in this time of "credit crunches", struggling economies; downturns etc. read on.

It talks about how worries about money infiltrate all aspects of our lives, "making us dread the days and agonise at night". You know what it's like when you have a worry that surfaces when all is quiet and you want to sleep. It's also so horrible and lonely tossing and turning when everyone else is asleep.

The other message is that "You have the power to change your lifestyle and move from a feeling of lack and deprivation to one of abundance and fulfillment". Remember the daily choice of which to inhabit? Scroll through past blogs until the one written on Jan 1st .

Sarah Ban Breathnach finishes todays reading with "The simpler we make our lives, the more abundant they become"

Start today and thanks from me to Sarah for all her great guidance this year so far.

How happy are you?

I'm still doing my daily Simple Abundance reading and even though I've read it before, there is so much that I need to be reminded of.

Today it talked about what makes us happy and the fact that we could be happy every day if we could take pleasure in what we have and what is around us. It is said that 'we must learn to savour small authentic moments that bring us contentment'

I am really working on this as I do believe we have so much already in our lives. So what are the simple pleasures that make you happy? For me it's sunshine; candles; walking; good quality time with close friends; the forest near my home; hugs from my daughter; being able to help; waking up naturally; a glass of wine.

Make a list of yours and try to include one in every day as well as finding more of the simple things that bring you pleasure.

Just think how great we can be if we are always happy?

Lovely people ease the journey.

On our life's journey there are challenges, obstacles and lots of adventures. Some are easy and fun and some really difficult and can be unpleasant.

I had one of those potentially unpleasant experiences ahead of me today and although I was working hard on my positivity, I could feel the stress fill my body as we turned into a long queue of traffic heading just where I needed to.

When I got to the destination there were no signs telling me where to go and the blank look and very unhelpful response from the person at reception, when faced with the question 'is the screening unit in this building?' made me wonder what planet she was on. Yes, that was the stress taking hold too.

I finally got there, but late, and I hate being late.

'No problem,' I was informed, 'just take a seat' and then when I was called through, the radiographer was a dream. She put me at ease straight away, chatting and taking me through the process I was about to undergo. My stress lifted and I was immediately calm and I also felt cared for.

Yes, the process is not one I'd rush back for, but it was 10 times easier than what I'd been led to believe and much less painful. But was it really or did that happen because with her skill and experience the radiographer eased my journey because she was able to put me at ease?

I'm a great believer in we get what we expect. I try to remain positive as much as possible and in this lady's hands I expected good.

Just have a think about whose journey you might be able to make easier. They'll really appreciate it and also look out for the people who ease yours.

Are you still going strong?

The first day of a New Year always seems relatively easy but what about day two?

I didn't sleep at all well last night and with me that often leads to irritability so I suppose I was prepared. I was also very aware about what I read yesterday and how I thought. So... when I woke up (naturally without the help of an alarm) I felt OK and immediately thought that today I'd choose an abundant reality. I quite like the idea of doing this on a day to day basis.

It's been tested especially when working with my daughter on sorting out photos for an album. Trouble is that both of us want to lead and that's a recipe for tension. In fact in my family, all three of us want to lead.

Well I'm still smiling and still excited. In past years I've felt such a failure on the 2nd or 3rd Jan when I've lost my temper or got upset. It's felt like the end already. This year, that's just not going to happen.

With my day to day philosophy, I know that tomorrow is another start and I'm not going to beat myself up any longer.

Hope your doing well too.

Simple Abundance

This is a direct quote taken from the book Simple Abundance and it's by Margaret Young. I quote it because I believe we often need to be reminded of the issue and often are not even aware that we do it.

"Often people attempt to live their lives backward: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do , in order to have what you want."

Does it make sense to you? It really rings a bell for me. I have so much to be happy about but am I really being who I am? That's going to be a big part of my journey this year. I value authenticity but am I truly authentic? Well if you are aware at any time that I'm not being, please let me know, you have my full permission. Are you who you really are?

Even in the forward of this book, I find so much that resonates. I am reminded that abundance and lack are parallel realities and that it's up to me to choose every day which I want too inhabit (I love that term). Towards the end of '08, I was choosing lack, not consciously but it was having a dire effect on me. Today I choose abundance and plan to do that every day.

If I, and/or others of you can make a major mind shift from Dec 31st to Jan 1st then why can't we do it every day? I'm going to view every new day as a new start- how exciting.

January, as well as being the month of new beginnings is, for those of us in the northern hemisphere, the time for hibernation and nurturing but more of that as the year unfolds. Have a great one, a year full of health and happiness, of love and success and most of all peace and hope.

What will you paint on that new canvas?

I love the new year, I love the new start and the chance to start again and in some cases put things right or at least that's the way I've sometimes seen it. Thinking about that today makes me realise that 'putting things right' means they were somehow wrong and that suggests failing and brings negativity into it. I am determined to be positive so......for me this is the new canvas and I can paint whatever glorious picture I want.

I am excited and hopeful about what I can create and what will come up for me. The excitement is mellow unlike the dizzy excitement I sometimes feel and actually that's really good. The glorious picture I can see emerging is one of calmness and quality. Slowing down so I can savour instead of rushing through. It's a canvas full of love and nuturing; of appreciation and of putting me first so my needs are met and I can then give more to others. It's full of walking, especially on the Camino with Teresa, and my wonderful East End Girls who I love to bits.

What will you paint? You don't have to complete it in one day, you can let it develop and take shape as the days unfold. Make it full of what you love though, you deserve it.


With regard to my walking, there are already suggestions for another breast cancer walk and I'm also hoping a group of us will do the Big Fun Walk in March. Then there's more of the Camino and our monthly walks. Firstly there's walking with Cajsa on Saturday. Perhaps we should have our own little Essex adventure......

I'm reading Simple Abundance again, I love the book but never seem to finish it. Will this be the year? It doesn't really matter, I learn something every time I read it.