We like to feel liked, needed, special, helpful etc and that's one of the reasons, I'm sure that so many of us women (and some men too) tend to always say "yes" and then regret it afterwards.
It's not that we don't want to help, it's just that when we say "yes" to someone else, we say no to ourselves. When we say "yes" to helping someone else get things done thereby making a dent in their "to do" list, it doesn't help us make a dent in hours.
This week, I'm getting things done and I've got a laser focus. I haven't got time to help others as getting my stuff done will finally take them off lists they've been on for years and just think how great that will make me feel.
So I'm going to be practicing these strategies and hopefully they might work for you too.
So how about:
"I can't help this time - who else can you ask?" or a slight deviation on this one"I can't help this time but XXX is really good at this" Be careful though, you may just plonk someone one else in it.
"I'm not sure, Let me see and I'll call you back later!" and a similar one "Now's not a good time, can I call you back later?"
"I'm sorry but I really can't help and I do mean it"
"I'm going to have to say 'no', it's just not convenient for me"
Some buy you time so you can think it all through instead of reacting. Others just come out and say "no". And remember, you don't have to justify, just say what you have to say and 'shut up'
Monday, October 26, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Search for more than lumps, ladies.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness month and as someone who has known only too many wonderful women who have had this disease, it's one I'm passionate about.
Today , through the Be Fabulous Newsletter I discovered 'Bollocks to Breast Cancer' on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=135963158920 set up by Sarah Stewart who is currently undergoing treatment for Breast Cancer. I was so impressed and want to get involved and the first step is to pass on this info from Sara herself -
"Everyone thinks that finding a lump in your breast is the first sign of cancer. When I found a red mark that looked like a love bite but that remained on my breast for several weeks, I found out about inflammatory breast cancer. It starts with a red mark, is aggressive and does not often involve a lump.My GP said it was nothing to worry about. But I didn't want to take a risk.So I booked myself into a fast-track breast clinic last Friday and discovered that I had the early stages of a tumour. Bizarrely, the red mark doesn't seem to have been related to the cancer so something or someone out there was looking out for me.There is no history of breast cancer in my family either.I think of myself as being lucky to have found this so early. But please ladies, don't just look for lumps but also for changes in your breast skin texture, inverted nipples and anything that doesn't look quite right. Don't ignore anything."
Take heed of Sara's advice, we can never know too much about all of this.
It was through doing the Aviva Breakthrough to Breast Cancer Walk in 2006 that the East End Girls were born and we are still out there walking and raising money when possible.
Today , through the Be Fabulous Newsletter I discovered 'Bollocks to Breast Cancer' on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=135963158920 set up by Sarah Stewart who is currently undergoing treatment for Breast Cancer. I was so impressed and want to get involved and the first step is to pass on this info from Sara herself -
"Everyone thinks that finding a lump in your breast is the first sign of cancer. When I found a red mark that looked like a love bite but that remained on my breast for several weeks, I found out about inflammatory breast cancer. It starts with a red mark, is aggressive and does not often involve a lump.My GP said it was nothing to worry about. But I didn't want to take a risk.So I booked myself into a fast-track breast clinic last Friday and discovered that I had the early stages of a tumour. Bizarrely, the red mark doesn't seem to have been related to the cancer so something or someone out there was looking out for me.There is no history of breast cancer in my family either.I think of myself as being lucky to have found this so early. But please ladies, don't just look for lumps but also for changes in your breast skin texture, inverted nipples and anything that doesn't look quite right. Don't ignore anything."
Take heed of Sara's advice, we can never know too much about all of this.
It was through doing the Aviva Breakthrough to Breast Cancer Walk in 2006 that the East End Girls were born and we are still out there walking and raising money when possible.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Walk to work - check it out.
Simon Madrell at Excellent development has just drawn my attention to Walk to Work for the
Microloan Foundation.
On Friday 16th October, many people across the world will be walking to work and the money they raise will help women in Africa set up their own businesses. We need entrepreneurs everywhere so do your bit, if you can to get fundraising and walking, every little helps.
Check out this great website and see how you can get involved - http://tinyurl.com/yldtmwz. .
Microloan Foundation.
On Friday 16th October, many people across the world will be walking to work and the money they raise will help women in Africa set up their own businesses. We need entrepreneurs everywhere so do your bit, if you can to get fundraising and walking, every little helps.
Check out this great website and see how you can get involved - http://tinyurl.com/yldtmwz. .
Monday, October 12, 2009
Is someone trying to get a message to you?
Where do I start? Perhaps one step at a time or as the strong messages that have been coming my way this morning say - 'do one thing at a time and complete it, then move on'. Sounds like good advice so why am I so bad at doing it?
No longer......
After having that same message come my way 3-4 times this morning I'm taking notice also because it might help with the over powering feeling I have of never getting all I want to do done.
Yes, I know, most of us probably feel like that at some time but I a) always plan to do far too much in one day, like a huge to do list b)I also try to multitask as new things come into my head. Result - total failure, very little completed and a great deal of frustration on my part.
This morning, I've stuck to one thing at a time and so far so good. So instead of trying to talk about 101 things in this blog posting just one. That is the repetition of messages like above where I read 'do one thing' in a book, then again in an article, then someone discussed the phenomena on a teleclass and as it's where I fall down I guess I should take this one board.
Are you getting any strong messages? Are you paying attention? Do you know what it all means for you?
Just take a little time and try and understand it all. Have a great day and I may blog again later, I definitely have loads to say.
No longer......
After having that same message come my way 3-4 times this morning I'm taking notice also because it might help with the over powering feeling I have of never getting all I want to do done.
Yes, I know, most of us probably feel like that at some time but I a) always plan to do far too much in one day, like a huge to do list b)I also try to multitask as new things come into my head. Result - total failure, very little completed and a great deal of frustration on my part.
This morning, I've stuck to one thing at a time and so far so good. So instead of trying to talk about 101 things in this blog posting just one. That is the repetition of messages like above where I read 'do one thing' in a book, then again in an article, then someone discussed the phenomena on a teleclass and as it's where I fall down I guess I should take this one board.
Are you getting any strong messages? Are you paying attention? Do you know what it all means for you?
Just take a little time and try and understand it all. Have a great day and I may blog again later, I definitely have loads to say.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)