Smiling

For her religious education homework this week my daughter had to write her own 10 commandments.

Her list included -

• always do your best


• be positive


• be kind to all living things


• be honest


• smile often

The "smile often" is one that particularly resonated with me as it's very hard not to respond when someone smiles at you, it makes you feel good and it also takes less muscles to smile that it does to frown.

Often when I'm out walking I smile at everyone I meet, the majority smile back. There's always one who just looks perplexed.....

Sorting through some papers this morning I found this poem and wanted to share it with you.

Smiling

Smiling is infectious

You catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today

I started smiling too

I passed around the corner

And someone saw me grin

And when he smiled I realised

I'd passed it onto him

I thought about the smile

And I realised its worth

A single smile like mine

Could travel round the earth

If you feel a smile begin

Don't leave it undetected

Let's start and epidemic quick

And get the world infected.

The poem itself is enough to get you frowning so let it go and pass it on and let's smile through the day, week and year.

Excellent Development

The above charity - http://www.excellentdevelopment.com/is very close to my heart as it's co-founder Simon Madrell was an early coaching client of mine and together we worked on his career move which led to the charity formation.

Simon is someone who truly walks his talk and what he and his team have achieved in the time since they set up is amazing. Specialising in planting trees and building sand dams they have recently built its 200th sand dam since 2002. They are currently working with over 50 communities to bring water and food security to some of the driest areas of rural Kenya. The sand dams transform environments and transform lives.

To find out more visit the website and you may want to purchase one of their Tree Duty bags to use.

Oh yes, and in 2008 they won Charity of the Year at the Charity Awards. Just wonderful.

My Simple Abundance Journey

I'm still on it and haven't missed a day. There's so much to learn and to put into practice and I'm sure I've missed things but I do feel I'm on top of the gratitude element. Even as I walked just after 7.00 this morning I found myself saying thanks so much for all that I have.

For me the 6 threads of Abundant Living are all coming together - the gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy. They all link and lead one into another. I feel a greater simplicity in life and the continuous de-cluttering is helping that further. Even Ellie had a major de-cluttering session on Sunday. The simplicity makes the order clearer and that brings harmony and all of it allows me to see the beauty and joy more clearly and to feel it too.

On Friday I am having my Friday review and part of that will be reviewing my Simple Abundant journey so far. I am sure I will pick up on other things and learn more. I'm so looking forward to it.

Just got to decide where to go to have it. I want somewhere warm and cosy and away from my office.

Interesting view on free time.

My Lonely Planet weekly email dropped into the inbox this morning bringing just the right equation for these dull, dark and dismal days (if you live in the northern hemisphere that is). It's the time of year that many people hate and all they see stretching ahead is cold and dark. so get a load of this.

Weekends + bank holidays + statutory annual leave = 132 days and as Lonely Planet ask - What could you do with all that time?

Well for me of course I'm already thinking of walking some more of the Camino with my dear friend Teresa. Also can I fit some walking in when I'm in Phoenix in July or is that madness knowing what the temperatures will be like? Anyone reading got any other ideas of where I should go to walk/trek if I am in the USA at that time of the year?

OK, walking may not be your thing but to raise yourself out of the doldrums, take control and just think about what you could do with that time. What about your plans for the weekend? A;so make sure you take your holiday entitlement as so many people don't. You need that break to recharge your batteries.

Come on bring some brightness and sunshine into your life... and thanks Lonely Planet for this.

Simplification

In my reading each morning, it never fails to amaze me how often the message is spot on. Today was no exception so in this time of "credit crunches", struggling economies; downturns etc. read on.

It talks about how worries about money infiltrate all aspects of our lives, "making us dread the days and agonise at night". You know what it's like when you have a worry that surfaces when all is quiet and you want to sleep. It's also so horrible and lonely tossing and turning when everyone else is asleep.

The other message is that "You have the power to change your lifestyle and move from a feeling of lack and deprivation to one of abundance and fulfillment". Remember the daily choice of which to inhabit? Scroll through past blogs until the one written on Jan 1st .

Sarah Ban Breathnach finishes todays reading with "The simpler we make our lives, the more abundant they become"

Start today and thanks from me to Sarah for all her great guidance this year so far.

How happy are you?

I'm still doing my daily Simple Abundance reading and even though I've read it before, there is so much that I need to be reminded of.

Today it talked about what makes us happy and the fact that we could be happy every day if we could take pleasure in what we have and what is around us. It is said that 'we must learn to savour small authentic moments that bring us contentment'

I am really working on this as I do believe we have so much already in our lives. So what are the simple pleasures that make you happy? For me it's sunshine; candles; walking; good quality time with close friends; the forest near my home; hugs from my daughter; being able to help; waking up naturally; a glass of wine.

Make a list of yours and try to include one in every day as well as finding more of the simple things that bring you pleasure.

Just think how great we can be if we are always happy?

Lovely people ease the journey.

On our life's journey there are challenges, obstacles and lots of adventures. Some are easy and fun and some really difficult and can be unpleasant.

I had one of those potentially unpleasant experiences ahead of me today and although I was working hard on my positivity, I could feel the stress fill my body as we turned into a long queue of traffic heading just where I needed to.

When I got to the destination there were no signs telling me where to go and the blank look and very unhelpful response from the person at reception, when faced with the question 'is the screening unit in this building?' made me wonder what planet she was on. Yes, that was the stress taking hold too.

I finally got there, but late, and I hate being late.

'No problem,' I was informed, 'just take a seat' and then when I was called through, the radiographer was a dream. She put me at ease straight away, chatting and taking me through the process I was about to undergo. My stress lifted and I was immediately calm and I also felt cared for.

Yes, the process is not one I'd rush back for, but it was 10 times easier than what I'd been led to believe and much less painful. But was it really or did that happen because with her skill and experience the radiographer eased my journey because she was able to put me at ease?

I'm a great believer in we get what we expect. I try to remain positive as much as possible and in this lady's hands I expected good.

Just have a think about whose journey you might be able to make easier. They'll really appreciate it and also look out for the people who ease yours.

Are you still going strong?

The first day of a New Year always seems relatively easy but what about day two?

I didn't sleep at all well last night and with me that often leads to irritability so I suppose I was prepared. I was also very aware about what I read yesterday and how I thought. So... when I woke up (naturally without the help of an alarm) I felt OK and immediately thought that today I'd choose an abundant reality. I quite like the idea of doing this on a day to day basis.

It's been tested especially when working with my daughter on sorting out photos for an album. Trouble is that both of us want to lead and that's a recipe for tension. In fact in my family, all three of us want to lead.

Well I'm still smiling and still excited. In past years I've felt such a failure on the 2nd or 3rd Jan when I've lost my temper or got upset. It's felt like the end already. This year, that's just not going to happen.

With my day to day philosophy, I know that tomorrow is another start and I'm not going to beat myself up any longer.

Hope your doing well too.

Simple Abundance

This is a direct quote taken from the book Simple Abundance and it's by Margaret Young. I quote it because I believe we often need to be reminded of the issue and often are not even aware that we do it.

"Often people attempt to live their lives backward: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do , in order to have what you want."

Does it make sense to you? It really rings a bell for me. I have so much to be happy about but am I really being who I am? That's going to be a big part of my journey this year. I value authenticity but am I truly authentic? Well if you are aware at any time that I'm not being, please let me know, you have my full permission. Are you who you really are?

Even in the forward of this book, I find so much that resonates. I am reminded that abundance and lack are parallel realities and that it's up to me to choose every day which I want too inhabit (I love that term). Towards the end of '08, I was choosing lack, not consciously but it was having a dire effect on me. Today I choose abundance and plan to do that every day.

If I, and/or others of you can make a major mind shift from Dec 31st to Jan 1st then why can't we do it every day? I'm going to view every new day as a new start- how exciting.

January, as well as being the month of new beginnings is, for those of us in the northern hemisphere, the time for hibernation and nurturing but more of that as the year unfolds. Have a great one, a year full of health and happiness, of love and success and most of all peace and hope.

What will you paint on that new canvas?

I love the new year, I love the new start and the chance to start again and in some cases put things right or at least that's the way I've sometimes seen it. Thinking about that today makes me realise that 'putting things right' means they were somehow wrong and that suggests failing and brings negativity into it. I am determined to be positive so......for me this is the new canvas and I can paint whatever glorious picture I want.

I am excited and hopeful about what I can create and what will come up for me. The excitement is mellow unlike the dizzy excitement I sometimes feel and actually that's really good. The glorious picture I can see emerging is one of calmness and quality. Slowing down so I can savour instead of rushing through. It's a canvas full of love and nuturing; of appreciation and of putting me first so my needs are met and I can then give more to others. It's full of walking, especially on the Camino with Teresa, and my wonderful East End Girls who I love to bits.

What will you paint? You don't have to complete it in one day, you can let it develop and take shape as the days unfold. Make it full of what you love though, you deserve it.


With regard to my walking, there are already suggestions for another breast cancer walk and I'm also hoping a group of us will do the Big Fun Walk in March. Then there's more of the Camino and our monthly walks. Firstly there's walking with Cajsa on Saturday. Perhaps we should have our own little Essex adventure......

I'm reading Simple Abundance again, I love the book but never seem to finish it. Will this be the year? It doesn't really matter, I learn something every time I read it.

Slow it all down and benefit

We had another wonderful but very hectic and sociable weekend. I love them but I also love my chill time and there's been none of that recently so yesterday I had a slow day.

I had a relaxing bath after breakfast, did my hair, dressed and then went for a massage. I floated away from that and then spent a couple of hours working in the dining room beside the fire with the candles lit. It was calm and I felt so refreshed after. In fact, I got as much done as I would have if I hadn't taken the time out and just rushed around like a mad thing.

The 'time out' allowed me to recharge and made me more productive and today I was in the office at 8.30 feeling refreshed and even had time today to think about what I could do next. Now that's a luxury that doesn't occur often.

Don't let the rush of the days up to Christmas stress you out, be proactive and take some time for you, you'll benefit.

Freezing weather walking.

It was so cold here yesterday, yes, I know it is winter. But in the UK our weather has become so unpredictable that you never know what you'll get.

Given the choice I do prefer 4 seasons, I love to see that changes that take place in nature and I like the fact that a cold winter will kill the bugs and refresh things. What I'm not so keen is getting up in the cold and dark and last night I wasn't too sure I wanted to leave my warm and cosy office and go up the house to change into my walking gear and go out to walk for 2 hours. I knew I'd enjoy it, but it was just the transition time.

Anyhow, I did, well I had two clients who are training for the Moonwalk and we are now up to walking 6 miles once a week plus the other walking they do in between. I'm really proud of them and they are well on target for May 2009.

I pulled on the layers, really important especially in the cold as once you get moving, you might want to strip off a little. Also important are gloves, socks, a scarf and hat. If your extremities are warm you will be.

We had a great walk and covered the 6 miles in an hour and three quarters. It was clear and very fresh and everywhere and everything sparkled making it really magical. It was as if diamonds had been scattered over all surfaces.

At one point we ended up on a round-a-bout but there was no pavement so being on the edge of grassy area we took a detour to get away from the traffic and walked along a grassy track. As we were still close to the road we had light but what was wonderful was the crunch of the grass underneath our feet and the feeling of walking on unchartered ground.

Two hours goes very quickly when you have good company and we chat about everything putting the world to right as we go. At this time of the year every week supplies us with new Christmas sights of trees and garden decorations, some very tasteful and elegant where others leave a lot to be desired ...... and then of course there are the houses across the street from each other in competition. All good amusement.

So if you thought walking in the dark in the cold was a no no, think again....and there's always a good hot meal to come home to and a glass of wine!

The power of the walk.

Through a google alert this morning my attention was drawn to the following blog and I wanted to share this excerpt with you as it resonates so strongly with me.

Ditch the stress and walk.
'I was returning to work after lunch today and realized just how much I like walking instead of using my car. It is much more relaxing then sitting at red lights and having to deal with other drivers. Unfortunately most people’s routines fall into our on-the-go lifestyle that our society has created and I think it weighs very heavily on work related stress and our health. As I walk home it gives me time to relax and think about other aspects of my life outside of work. The exercise is an added bonus, plus the fresh air.

Selfishly I also wish more people had the ability to walk because then I would be breathing in less exhaust from cars passing by. Maybe I would even meet a few new faces and exchange in some light friendly conversation. If people walked between work and home, maybe it would allow more time to connect with the natural world and develop a few more environmental advocates. I challenge you to examine your day and add up all of the hours you spend inside a building or car; you may be surprised by how little of your day is spent in nature. It this is not the case, then consider yourself one of the lucky ones.'

I often coach my clients about the need to transition from work to home and this is just such a great way to do it. It gives you some space to think through and deal with the work issues that may have impacted upon you and allow you to deal with them and then set aside before getting home.

To read more of this blog and to catch more input click on :-

http://rsfellows.wordpress.com/2008/12/01/ditch-the-stress-and-walk/

I wear it well - sometimes.

Reviewing some photos from the recent Professional Speakers Association (PSA) Convention which was the last event in Alan's year as President and found one of me in my finery as opposed to the walking gear that I am usually in when photos of me appear in this blog. What do you think?




It was so lovely to have an excuse to dress up and I felt so good. I also felt very appreciated when Alan thanked me from the stage for all my support. It came as a complete surprise and I got all emotional. It's just something I do and often it's just Ellie and me when he travels so we have good girlie time, yet, it was so nice for him to recognise my contribution. Just another one of the reasons I married this man.


Alan's had a great year and it was fitting that it ended on such a high. I'm so proud of him. Everyone now keeps asking about me having him at home. Don't believe it, he'll be off speaking throughout the world as usual. More excuses for dressing up in Phoenix in July next year!!

Take your problems for a walk

Yes, that's right. Comfortable shoes and layers to keep you warm and go walk.

Due to it's meditational qualities, walking gets us into a rhythm both physically and mentally and it puts things into perspective and enables to think more widely and more clearly.

The act of walking in the fresh helps clear our heads so there is room to mull over the problems and challenges and the scenery acts to inspire and motivate.

Listen to what is coming to you as you walk and I bet you come back with a solution or at least more calmness and peace in which to finally work it out.

If you can't work things out alone, how about some 'walk and talk' - http://www.walkerscoach.com/walk_and_talk.htm

Helpful additions to yesterdays blog.

In case you don't get round to reading blog comments, this one from Darlene was too helpful to miss so here you are.

I am a definite chocoholic. I find though, that if I stick to dark chocolate I only need a very little. It's the Christmas chocolates that do me in.

According to the site: http://www.naturopathyworks.com/pages/cravings.php Chocolate cravings are a sign of the body's need for Magnesium, and that they can be calmed by eating Raw nuts and seeds, legumes, fruits.

And according to http://www.brainready.com/blog/the_top_5_brain_health_food.html good quality chocolate is excellent for keeping the brain healthy.

They also say in this article: http://www.brainready.com/blog/walk_your_brain_to_health.html that 15 minutes of walking a day is also very beneficial to brain health.

Anyway, thanks for all your great info. I really enjoy reading it. Darlene
....and I really appreciate your input and all this guidance.

Want to kick your chocolate habit? Read on.....

I know, you love chocolate and if you could have a square or two at a time and leave the rest for later that would be great but it doesn't quite work that way does it? Well it doesn't for me and I guess there are a few of you out there who'd agree. If a box of chocolates gets opened in our house, just watch them go.....

Perhaps this research is just what you need then.

It was carried out at the University of Exeter and resulted in the finding that walking
Researchers at the University of Exeter have found that walking for just fifteen minutes can reduce chocolate cravings. The benefits of exercise in helping people manage dependencies is not new, it's been recognised to have a positive effect on cravings for nicotine and other drugs but not food cravings until now.

Twenty five regular chocolate eaters stopped eating chocolate for three days and then either rested or walked for 15 minutes. After that they were given tasks that would normally make them crave chocolate. Those who had exercised reported lower levels of craving.

Professor Adrian Taylor commented that "Neuroscientists have suggested common processes in the reward centres of the brain between drug and food addictions, and it may be that exercise effects brain chemicals that help to regulate mood and cravings. This could be good news for people who struggle to manage their cravings for sugary snacks and want to lose weight."

Apparently previous research has suggested that 97% of women and 68% of men experience food cravings and the food they want tends to be high in calories, fatty or sugary foods, with chocolate being the most commonly reported. Chocolate has a number of biologically active constituents that temporarily enhance our mood with a result that eating it can become a habit, particularly when we are under stress and when it is readily available, and perhaps when we are least active.

Ring any bells for you? It does for me.

Of course in small doses it's fine but too much does us no favours at all. As dark chocolate in small doses could be beneficial for your heart, try what I do and break it up into 2 square servings and put in a container in the fridge. In this way I find this amount satisfies me and I don't need more. That coupled with a walk which gets all the positive endorphins going may just be what you need.

Try it out and let me know how you get on and keep up to date with http://www.walkerscoach.com/

Big gap

I knew it had been a while but got rather a surprise when I realised that it had been so long since I'd blogged.

November has been an interesting month, no let's not go there, it's basically not been a very good one. We all have them - bad times or down times - and they're all part of life's journey and the best thing to do is go through them.

I've felt pretty down at times and that's led me to do a lot of questioning about where I am, what I'm doing, whether it's working etc. Not sure I've got the answer yet but I have been making changes.

It's hard work but regular evaluation and review is important. Are you doing this? Mine was sort of forced upon me this - I usually do this at new year time - so the good thing this year is that I'm one step ahead. Now I just need to make sure I put it into practice.

You know when I started my personal development journey, I naively thought that I'd fix a,b and c and that would be great. Oh dear, the more you look into the more there is to deal with and consider and I now know that the journey never ends.

Am I sorry I started it? No, not at all. I am a much better person now and someone who knows myself pretty well.

Does it make life easier? Well, yes and no. I know what I want and what to do to get there so I don't settle for second best and that can be hard but I'm comfortable being me and I have more confidence etc and I do what I love most of the time.

..and I've got really good at reading the signs and responding. Are you on your journey? Do you want a companion? Can I help?

Ease the unease

I've not been in a good place today and it's made me do some real soul searching.

In there are all the little niggly things that 'should' be deal with and that are hanging over my head. They're things that are not top in prioritising and so get shunted up and down the list but they come back to cause unease on a regular basis.

What are the niggly things in your life? Whar are you piutting up with? What are you tolerating? Yes, you.

I'd be really surprised if you said nothing. In fact I'd be in awe of you and want to know how you do it because in my experience most of us are tolerating a whole list of things.

It's likely to be things like - the screw that needs put back in place; that ‘space’ that needs clearing out; the lamp that needs fixing, the email you need to send.

For me, at the moment they include - the pump for the table fountain that needs finding so I can get it working, the article I need to write, the paperwork that needs sorting and the lamp that needs fixing. These things creep up on me regularly and they take up space in my head and drain my energy. How good would I feel to have them out of my way and out of my head?

So, here's a suggestion - make a list of all the things that you know you are tolerating and then make an action plan to deal with them. One by one or a couple at a time and 'do it'.

Just imagine how good it will feel to have ticked them all of the list and how proud you'll be of yourself for doing it. You’ll feel successful, in control and energised.

OK, off you go and feel free to post your achievements.

Here's to 'chill' time.

Have just had a really chilled weekend.

We were childless as Ellie had gone off to stay with some friends and Alan and I decided not to plan at all but just to 'do' what we felt like. It was bliss. We took time to enjoy breakfast, we talked, cooked a wonderful meal on Saturday night and caught up on a film or two.

He ran, I walked, we slept long, we wandered round the house and decided what things needed to do done - that really made me feel great as I had been feeling a little out of control re the house - now we just need to put a time line on it all.

I recommend it. If you manage to have a weekend for you or you and a partner, really do what you want to. Ditch the cleaning, get rid of the 'we shoulds' and chill. W don't do it enough.

Enjoy.