Searching for my authentic self

Searching for my authentic self is what February's theme in 'Simple Abundance' is and I'm finding working my way through this month harder than last. I feel I'm not quite getting there but I am persevering and persisting which are two of the qualities I believe you have to have to get to where you want.

All these photos represent aspects of me and my authentic self is an integration of them all and more, the bit I've not quite sussed yet.

At times in the past I've given up too easily. I've not been persistent enough or persevered for as long as I could but not this time, this time is different because I do feel I'm on the right track. However, this journey is hard and there are loads of realisations and tears.

I went for a wonderful treatment on Tuesday, it was in a place I love and the treatment was a 50th birthday pressie. I was waiting to find the right time to have it and I did. Was it wonderful? Well yes and no.

'The Relaxation Place' is a stunning venue and Maxine is a wonderful therapist so all of that was superb. So where the oils, the candles, the ambiance, the warmth etc but while having it I realised just how stressed I was and I got very emotional and spent most of the evening in tears and writing in my journal working through ways that I could work to tackle this stress.

I did enjoy my special present, I do wish there wasn't so much stress in my life or that I was coping with it better but I do believe I was meant to have the experience that I did and it's just another part of this journey.

I will get there and so will you.

Overload, over commitment......

After our Monday morning meeting Alan and I were discussing why we failed to do all we'd committed to when we'd really considered our diary before entering 'to do' dates. " there's always so many other things come in" he replied "and I'm having trouble keeping up"

As yesterday developed, I found myself constantly interrupted by other things that needed done, so much so that yesterday's 'to do' list got buried and I felt totally unsatisfied. I'd done loads but not what I planned. In fact this morning I wrote in my journal that today was going to be an office based, get back on track today. I'm very determined.

Does this resonate with you?

Then as I started my day with checking my email, there was a timely blog posting from my good friend and fellow walker, Marc Leblanc. How often this happens when I need it so here it is for you to.

Take a deep breath

Posted: 09 Feb 2009 07:56 AM CST
As hard as I try to meet the challenges of the month, week, day and moment; I find obligations, commitments, tasks, responsibilities, interruptions and distractions get in the way of doing more of what I want to do and doing the good work I feel called and compelled to do. It is an on-going test of your benchmarks and boundaries that will keep you focused and moving forward in the direction of your dream. Trust the process. But, make sure you have a process, a path, a plan and a philosophy for your business and your life.
Mark LeBlanc http://www.SmallBusinessSuccess.com

Time for me to revisit the process, perhaps this will encourage you to do too.

Smiling feedback

I know we don't always have time to check comments on blogs so I wanted to share this with you. It's from my fellow walker Darlene in Canada.

"I used to live in Germany where it wasn't that common to smile and say "hello" as you passed someone on the street. One morning while I was out walking I smiled and said hello to a woman I was passing. She smiled back, stopped, and asked me if she knew me! We struck up quite conversation. It's a great way to make new friends!"

Care to try it out?

In times of redundancies and job search...

Whether you've recently been made redundant, are looking for a career change or upgrade or you're at the start of your career the three companies which are currently the biggest recruiters are BSkyB, Atkins and Ernst and Young. So have a look and check out the range of jobs.

Thanks to the latest Aurora newsletter for this. Let me know about your successes.

Smiling

For her religious education homework this week my daughter had to write her own 10 commandments.

Her list included -

• always do your best


• be positive


• be kind to all living things


• be honest


• smile often

The "smile often" is one that particularly resonated with me as it's very hard not to respond when someone smiles at you, it makes you feel good and it also takes less muscles to smile that it does to frown.

Often when I'm out walking I smile at everyone I meet, the majority smile back. There's always one who just looks perplexed.....

Sorting through some papers this morning I found this poem and wanted to share it with you.

Smiling

Smiling is infectious

You catch it like the flu

When someone smiled at me today

I started smiling too

I passed around the corner

And someone saw me grin

And when he smiled I realised

I'd passed it onto him

I thought about the smile

And I realised its worth

A single smile like mine

Could travel round the earth

If you feel a smile begin

Don't leave it undetected

Let's start and epidemic quick

And get the world infected.

The poem itself is enough to get you frowning so let it go and pass it on and let's smile through the day, week and year.

Excellent Development

The above charity - http://www.excellentdevelopment.com/is very close to my heart as it's co-founder Simon Madrell was an early coaching client of mine and together we worked on his career move which led to the charity formation.

Simon is someone who truly walks his talk and what he and his team have achieved in the time since they set up is amazing. Specialising in planting trees and building sand dams they have recently built its 200th sand dam since 2002. They are currently working with over 50 communities to bring water and food security to some of the driest areas of rural Kenya. The sand dams transform environments and transform lives.

To find out more visit the website and you may want to purchase one of their Tree Duty bags to use.

Oh yes, and in 2008 they won Charity of the Year at the Charity Awards. Just wonderful.

My Simple Abundance Journey

I'm still on it and haven't missed a day. There's so much to learn and to put into practice and I'm sure I've missed things but I do feel I'm on top of the gratitude element. Even as I walked just after 7.00 this morning I found myself saying thanks so much for all that I have.

For me the 6 threads of Abundant Living are all coming together - the gratitude, simplicity, order, harmony, beauty and joy. They all link and lead one into another. I feel a greater simplicity in life and the continuous de-cluttering is helping that further. Even Ellie had a major de-cluttering session on Sunday. The simplicity makes the order clearer and that brings harmony and all of it allows me to see the beauty and joy more clearly and to feel it too.

On Friday I am having my Friday review and part of that will be reviewing my Simple Abundant journey so far. I am sure I will pick up on other things and learn more. I'm so looking forward to it.

Just got to decide where to go to have it. I want somewhere warm and cosy and away from my office.

Interesting view on free time.

My Lonely Planet weekly email dropped into the inbox this morning bringing just the right equation for these dull, dark and dismal days (if you live in the northern hemisphere that is). It's the time of year that many people hate and all they see stretching ahead is cold and dark. so get a load of this.

Weekends + bank holidays + statutory annual leave = 132 days and as Lonely Planet ask - What could you do with all that time?

Well for me of course I'm already thinking of walking some more of the Camino with my dear friend Teresa. Also can I fit some walking in when I'm in Phoenix in July or is that madness knowing what the temperatures will be like? Anyone reading got any other ideas of where I should go to walk/trek if I am in the USA at that time of the year?

OK, walking may not be your thing but to raise yourself out of the doldrums, take control and just think about what you could do with that time. What about your plans for the weekend? A;so make sure you take your holiday entitlement as so many people don't. You need that break to recharge your batteries.

Come on bring some brightness and sunshine into your life... and thanks Lonely Planet for this.

Simplification

In my reading each morning, it never fails to amaze me how often the message is spot on. Today was no exception so in this time of "credit crunches", struggling economies; downturns etc. read on.

It talks about how worries about money infiltrate all aspects of our lives, "making us dread the days and agonise at night". You know what it's like when you have a worry that surfaces when all is quiet and you want to sleep. It's also so horrible and lonely tossing and turning when everyone else is asleep.

The other message is that "You have the power to change your lifestyle and move from a feeling of lack and deprivation to one of abundance and fulfillment". Remember the daily choice of which to inhabit? Scroll through past blogs until the one written on Jan 1st .

Sarah Ban Breathnach finishes todays reading with "The simpler we make our lives, the more abundant they become"

Start today and thanks from me to Sarah for all her great guidance this year so far.

How happy are you?

I'm still doing my daily Simple Abundance reading and even though I've read it before, there is so much that I need to be reminded of.

Today it talked about what makes us happy and the fact that we could be happy every day if we could take pleasure in what we have and what is around us. It is said that 'we must learn to savour small authentic moments that bring us contentment'

I am really working on this as I do believe we have so much already in our lives. So what are the simple pleasures that make you happy? For me it's sunshine; candles; walking; good quality time with close friends; the forest near my home; hugs from my daughter; being able to help; waking up naturally; a glass of wine.

Make a list of yours and try to include one in every day as well as finding more of the simple things that bring you pleasure.

Just think how great we can be if we are always happy?

Lovely people ease the journey.

On our life's journey there are challenges, obstacles and lots of adventures. Some are easy and fun and some really difficult and can be unpleasant.

I had one of those potentially unpleasant experiences ahead of me today and although I was working hard on my positivity, I could feel the stress fill my body as we turned into a long queue of traffic heading just where I needed to.

When I got to the destination there were no signs telling me where to go and the blank look and very unhelpful response from the person at reception, when faced with the question 'is the screening unit in this building?' made me wonder what planet she was on. Yes, that was the stress taking hold too.

I finally got there, but late, and I hate being late.

'No problem,' I was informed, 'just take a seat' and then when I was called through, the radiographer was a dream. She put me at ease straight away, chatting and taking me through the process I was about to undergo. My stress lifted and I was immediately calm and I also felt cared for.

Yes, the process is not one I'd rush back for, but it was 10 times easier than what I'd been led to believe and much less painful. But was it really or did that happen because with her skill and experience the radiographer eased my journey because she was able to put me at ease?

I'm a great believer in we get what we expect. I try to remain positive as much as possible and in this lady's hands I expected good.

Just have a think about whose journey you might be able to make easier. They'll really appreciate it and also look out for the people who ease yours.

Are you still going strong?

The first day of a New Year always seems relatively easy but what about day two?

I didn't sleep at all well last night and with me that often leads to irritability so I suppose I was prepared. I was also very aware about what I read yesterday and how I thought. So... when I woke up (naturally without the help of an alarm) I felt OK and immediately thought that today I'd choose an abundant reality. I quite like the idea of doing this on a day to day basis.

It's been tested especially when working with my daughter on sorting out photos for an album. Trouble is that both of us want to lead and that's a recipe for tension. In fact in my family, all three of us want to lead.

Well I'm still smiling and still excited. In past years I've felt such a failure on the 2nd or 3rd Jan when I've lost my temper or got upset. It's felt like the end already. This year, that's just not going to happen.

With my day to day philosophy, I know that tomorrow is another start and I'm not going to beat myself up any longer.

Hope your doing well too.

Simple Abundance

This is a direct quote taken from the book Simple Abundance and it's by Margaret Young. I quote it because I believe we often need to be reminded of the issue and often are not even aware that we do it.

"Often people attempt to live their lives backward: they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want so that they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then, do what you need to do , in order to have what you want."

Does it make sense to you? It really rings a bell for me. I have so much to be happy about but am I really being who I am? That's going to be a big part of my journey this year. I value authenticity but am I truly authentic? Well if you are aware at any time that I'm not being, please let me know, you have my full permission. Are you who you really are?

Even in the forward of this book, I find so much that resonates. I am reminded that abundance and lack are parallel realities and that it's up to me to choose every day which I want too inhabit (I love that term). Towards the end of '08, I was choosing lack, not consciously but it was having a dire effect on me. Today I choose abundance and plan to do that every day.

If I, and/or others of you can make a major mind shift from Dec 31st to Jan 1st then why can't we do it every day? I'm going to view every new day as a new start- how exciting.

January, as well as being the month of new beginnings is, for those of us in the northern hemisphere, the time for hibernation and nurturing but more of that as the year unfolds. Have a great one, a year full of health and happiness, of love and success and most of all peace and hope.

What will you paint on that new canvas?

I love the new year, I love the new start and the chance to start again and in some cases put things right or at least that's the way I've sometimes seen it. Thinking about that today makes me realise that 'putting things right' means they were somehow wrong and that suggests failing and brings negativity into it. I am determined to be positive so......for me this is the new canvas and I can paint whatever glorious picture I want.

I am excited and hopeful about what I can create and what will come up for me. The excitement is mellow unlike the dizzy excitement I sometimes feel and actually that's really good. The glorious picture I can see emerging is one of calmness and quality. Slowing down so I can savour instead of rushing through. It's a canvas full of love and nuturing; of appreciation and of putting me first so my needs are met and I can then give more to others. It's full of walking, especially on the Camino with Teresa, and my wonderful East End Girls who I love to bits.

What will you paint? You don't have to complete it in one day, you can let it develop and take shape as the days unfold. Make it full of what you love though, you deserve it.


With regard to my walking, there are already suggestions for another breast cancer walk and I'm also hoping a group of us will do the Big Fun Walk in March. Then there's more of the Camino and our monthly walks. Firstly there's walking with Cajsa on Saturday. Perhaps we should have our own little Essex adventure......

I'm reading Simple Abundance again, I love the book but never seem to finish it. Will this be the year? It doesn't really matter, I learn something every time I read it.

Slow it all down and benefit

We had another wonderful but very hectic and sociable weekend. I love them but I also love my chill time and there's been none of that recently so yesterday I had a slow day.

I had a relaxing bath after breakfast, did my hair, dressed and then went for a massage. I floated away from that and then spent a couple of hours working in the dining room beside the fire with the candles lit. It was calm and I felt so refreshed after. In fact, I got as much done as I would have if I hadn't taken the time out and just rushed around like a mad thing.

The 'time out' allowed me to recharge and made me more productive and today I was in the office at 8.30 feeling refreshed and even had time today to think about what I could do next. Now that's a luxury that doesn't occur often.

Don't let the rush of the days up to Christmas stress you out, be proactive and take some time for you, you'll benefit.

Freezing weather walking.

It was so cold here yesterday, yes, I know it is winter. But in the UK our weather has become so unpredictable that you never know what you'll get.

Given the choice I do prefer 4 seasons, I love to see that changes that take place in nature and I like the fact that a cold winter will kill the bugs and refresh things. What I'm not so keen is getting up in the cold and dark and last night I wasn't too sure I wanted to leave my warm and cosy office and go up the house to change into my walking gear and go out to walk for 2 hours. I knew I'd enjoy it, but it was just the transition time.

Anyhow, I did, well I had two clients who are training for the Moonwalk and we are now up to walking 6 miles once a week plus the other walking they do in between. I'm really proud of them and they are well on target for May 2009.

I pulled on the layers, really important especially in the cold as once you get moving, you might want to strip off a little. Also important are gloves, socks, a scarf and hat. If your extremities are warm you will be.

We had a great walk and covered the 6 miles in an hour and three quarters. It was clear and very fresh and everywhere and everything sparkled making it really magical. It was as if diamonds had been scattered over all surfaces.

At one point we ended up on a round-a-bout but there was no pavement so being on the edge of grassy area we took a detour to get away from the traffic and walked along a grassy track. As we were still close to the road we had light but what was wonderful was the crunch of the grass underneath our feet and the feeling of walking on unchartered ground.

Two hours goes very quickly when you have good company and we chat about everything putting the world to right as we go. At this time of the year every week supplies us with new Christmas sights of trees and garden decorations, some very tasteful and elegant where others leave a lot to be desired ...... and then of course there are the houses across the street from each other in competition. All good amusement.

So if you thought walking in the dark in the cold was a no no, think again....and there's always a good hot meal to come home to and a glass of wine!

The power of the walk.

Through a google alert this morning my attention was drawn to the following blog and I wanted to share this excerpt with you as it resonates so strongly with me.

Ditch the stress and walk.
'I was returning to work after lunch today and realized just how much I like walking instead of using my car. It is much more relaxing then sitting at red lights and having to deal with other drivers. Unfortunately most people’s routines fall into our on-the-go lifestyle that our society has created and I think it weighs very heavily on work related stress and our health. As I walk home it gives me time to relax and think about other aspects of my life outside of work. The exercise is an added bonus, plus the fresh air.

Selfishly I also wish more people had the ability to walk because then I would be breathing in less exhaust from cars passing by. Maybe I would even meet a few new faces and exchange in some light friendly conversation. If people walked between work and home, maybe it would allow more time to connect with the natural world and develop a few more environmental advocates. I challenge you to examine your day and add up all of the hours you spend inside a building or car; you may be surprised by how little of your day is spent in nature. It this is not the case, then consider yourself one of the lucky ones.'

I often coach my clients about the need to transition from work to home and this is just such a great way to do it. It gives you some space to think through and deal with the work issues that may have impacted upon you and allow you to deal with them and then set aside before getting home.

To read more of this blog and to catch more input click on :-

http://rsfellows.wordpress.com/2008/12/01/ditch-the-stress-and-walk/

I wear it well - sometimes.

Reviewing some photos from the recent Professional Speakers Association (PSA) Convention which was the last event in Alan's year as President and found one of me in my finery as opposed to the walking gear that I am usually in when photos of me appear in this blog. What do you think?




It was so lovely to have an excuse to dress up and I felt so good. I also felt very appreciated when Alan thanked me from the stage for all my support. It came as a complete surprise and I got all emotional. It's just something I do and often it's just Ellie and me when he travels so we have good girlie time, yet, it was so nice for him to recognise my contribution. Just another one of the reasons I married this man.


Alan's had a great year and it was fitting that it ended on such a high. I'm so proud of him. Everyone now keeps asking about me having him at home. Don't believe it, he'll be off speaking throughout the world as usual. More excuses for dressing up in Phoenix in July next year!!

Take your problems for a walk

Yes, that's right. Comfortable shoes and layers to keep you warm and go walk.

Due to it's meditational qualities, walking gets us into a rhythm both physically and mentally and it puts things into perspective and enables to think more widely and more clearly.

The act of walking in the fresh helps clear our heads so there is room to mull over the problems and challenges and the scenery acts to inspire and motivate.

Listen to what is coming to you as you walk and I bet you come back with a solution or at least more calmness and peace in which to finally work it out.

If you can't work things out alone, how about some 'walk and talk' - http://www.walkerscoach.com/walk_and_talk.htm

Helpful additions to yesterdays blog.

In case you don't get round to reading blog comments, this one from Darlene was too helpful to miss so here you are.

I am a definite chocoholic. I find though, that if I stick to dark chocolate I only need a very little. It's the Christmas chocolates that do me in.

According to the site: http://www.naturopathyworks.com/pages/cravings.php Chocolate cravings are a sign of the body's need for Magnesium, and that they can be calmed by eating Raw nuts and seeds, legumes, fruits.

And according to http://www.brainready.com/blog/the_top_5_brain_health_food.html good quality chocolate is excellent for keeping the brain healthy.

They also say in this article: http://www.brainready.com/blog/walk_your_brain_to_health.html that 15 minutes of walking a day is also very beneficial to brain health.

Anyway, thanks for all your great info. I really enjoy reading it. Darlene
....and I really appreciate your input and all this guidance.